Kikuyu Traditional Wedding 'Ngurario' (Part 2/2)

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After the dowry payment process 'ruracio', they bride and groom may decide to proceed and do a Kikuyu traditional wedding 'ngurario' or decide to do the church wedding. If they opt to do the church wedding first, they will then later do the traditional wedding ceremony later. 'ngurario' ceremony starts when the groom has done the necessary rites in the agikuyu culture and is ready to complete paying off all the 99 goats of his bride.

On the day of the 'ngurario', there are 4 specific goats that must be at the ceremony. The first goat should be of only one color, without blemishes and it is slaughtered before the elders as witnesses. From that goat various body parts are the ones which will be used during the ceremony. Unlike in a church wedding where a cake is cut and shared to all, in the kikuyu community the bride and groom cut and share meat also known as ‘kutinia kiade’. As the goat is being slaughtered the sister to the bride takes the knives away denying the men the chance to continue with their day’s business. The sister is then given a gift to convince her to return the knives. This takes time as the convincing part is not easy. As she gives them the knives it resembles that she has accepted the groom to take her sister away. This calls for 5 and 4 ululations for the groom and bride respectively.

The second goat is for the women from the bride side. They are given to account for the loss of one of their daughters. The third goat is called ‘thege ya nyumba’ this goat is given to the family of the bride and it can be eaten any day when the family decides to. The fourth and the last goat is called ‘mwati’ this is given to the bride’s family. It is supposed to be clean i.e. it has not yet given birth so that it can give birth in it’s new home. This is a representation that the girl who left the home was going to start her own family.

Traditional food such as mukimo, njahi (black beans) ,nduma (arrowroots), ngwaci (sweetpotates) and many more are prepared. A special type of porridge is also prepared for 2 days to mark the ceremony. After the food and goat cuttings, the groom’s family and other invited guest arrive with gifts to the bride’s family singing. The gifts are carried by the women in ‘kiondo’s’ woven bags. The gifts must include yams. Yams signify the groom, who is to be welcomed into the brides home, this will be acknowledged by the bride's father after eating the yam. Before the in-laws are welcomed into the bride’s home, there has to be some negotiations at the gate as they deny them entrance until they are gifted. They are welcomed with food.

As the main part of the ceremony begins, elderly women and the bride are given different parts of meat to act as witnesses to the ceremony. During the 'ruracio' the groom gives the bride a goat and a shepherd who is supposed to take care for the goats brought until the groom has finished paying the dowry. During that day, the boy is finally allowed to go back home and is given meat as a token of appreciation. Young men from both sides of the family are summoned to resemble a bond formed between the two families. They then serve each other meat accompanied with traditional beer.

At the time of ‘kutinia kiade’, the bride’s father gives her daughter a goat as a token of appreciation. The bride and the groom then cut different parts of meat which have different significance. The bride and the groom are then blessed traditionally by their parents. After that, the bride feeds his groom with porridge. But he has to be soothed to take it by different acts of service such as combing his hair, brushing his shoes among other services. This marks the end of the ceremony as the bride and the groom are now officially recognized in the tradition as one. The traditional wedding ceremony has no divorce. As the Swahili proverb say ‘mwacha mila ni mtumwa’.